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draginja in overeaters_anon

Willingness

Today's reading from For Today discusses willingness. The main theme is that it's not about being willing to lose the weight. We have
to be willing to let go of the compulsion, the sedation, the gratification we receive during the whole process of overeating. I don't know anyone
who thinks, "I wwant to be obese." But I know plenty of people who aren't willing to go the extra mile and give up whatever it is that brings them
comfort. It's hard. I know. I struggle with it. I do the steps. I think of myself as an actor who wants to run the show and is unwilling to listen to the director. Then I decide to let the director (my higher power) run the show. I do a 4th and 5th step. I make my amends. I continue to do inventory and clean house. Then I pray and meditate to increase my contact with my higher power. And I help others as I am able.

These are simple steps, but they aren't always easy and I have gone through periods where I haven't done them, where I have been lost in my disease to the extent that I wasn't able to use them.

I know that I am not cured. I have a daily reprieve contingent on my spiritual fitness and I have to work to maintain that.

Today I know that my weight and even my food are not my priorities. My priority in life is my consciousness of the presence of my higher power (p. 51, Big Book). I understand today that my problems are of my own making. The food is only a symbol. (P. 103, Big Book)

Comments

I'm very grateful that slowly as I've worked the programme other things have lately replaced the part overeating used to play in my life. I remember when eating and weight consumed my thinking, then later I consciously did recovery virtually full time, going to a meeting a day, to now when I have a life. I follow the same food plan every day and avoid binge foods (including sugar and white flour), so it's obvious to anyone remotely close I me that I'm not a 'normal' eater, but with few exceptions I'm ok with that.
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September 2014

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